School

I have spent quite a bit of time thinking about school today. I just don't know what to do.

On one hand, I am really drawn to the idea of unschooling but I have a gripping fear that I will raise functionally illiterate adults if I don't make them sit and "do school." On the other hand, "doing school" is not fun for any of us. I know life isn't supposed to be fun and blah, blah, blah, but by not fun I don't mean that the clowns and pony rides took the day off. I mean screaming, yelling, fighting, crying and cursing... and that is just the kids. It is just not us.

Back to the first hand. I know unschooling works. I have read about many kids who were unschooled right up to being successful adults. I personally know moms who have successfully unschooled successful adults. But...

This last year has been rough for us. I was still recovering from my surgery (More emotionally than physically. My hormones took a real beating and I was a mess more times than I care to remember.) and we unschooled. Christian usually just hung around the house, playing guitar or playing with his iPod. Ethan would either fish, play football with the neighbor kids, run around outside or hang out inside and watch tv. Alex spent the entire time on his computer, building and rebuilding message board, moderating the message board, learning more about codes so he could improve the message board, etc.

Truth be told, our whole school career has been hit or miss. I would plan, plan and plan some more, then when it came time to do it there was a huge fight and one of us (usually me) would end up crying. The longest that we have done school without having to take a week or more off to regroup is 3 weeks. I just did not want the kind of relationship with my children that having this daily battle would bring.

Now I am faced with the fear that I have wasted precious time and that they will never be ready for college, jobs, LIFE.

Here's the thing - my education was first rate crap. Grade A, top of the line shit. It wasn't the schools fault - although I would love to have a few words with more than one of the shit teachers I had. For every one good teacher, there were 2 or 3 really bad, shouldn't be allowed to teach types of teachers. I won't go in to why, but let's just say that I am not dumb and the schools at the time were not equipped to deal with let alone educate someone who does not fit their mold. I mean, for someone who could read at the age of 2, kindergarten seems more than a little boring, and the solution is not to paddle the 5 year old almost weekly because you are an idiot teacher. Yeah, I know. I told you... shit.

So we wanted better for our boys. Now I just wonder if that is what they got, or if it is the same kind of shit education I received, just wrapped up in a different package?

I wish there were some kind of crystal ball I could look in to and see that it all works out in the end but unfortunately, there isn't.

So where does this leave us? I don't know. I wish I did, but I don't. I just don't.